I’m Troubled That My Fiance’s A Villain – Extras – Valentine’s

This is a fake, nonsensical, Japanese-style AU parody. Since this AU is more on the peaceful side, everyone gets along, and are docile. Unwind, and please read it with an open mind.


It all started during Valentine’s Day last year.

Back then, I once tried to challenge myself with making cookies, but despite having been taught by my mother as well as being able to cook, I was traumatized at not having been able to beat the dough into shape. I sucked at making sweets, and because it would bring shame to my name, “I figure as long as it’s filled with love, it’s fine even if it tastes weird, or is ready-made!” I bitterly decided, as I hand over ready-made chocolates every year to Mr. Boyfriend, who I’ve been dating since middle school.

Every year, I kept on top of the changes in his tastes, without being too expensive or too cheap, and worked hard on the wrapping and message card with such pleasant vibes.

My boyfriend, Bern, is above average, because of his well-balanced face and clearheadedness. And because of that, he receives a number of chocolates every year.

In the beginning, Bern would decline all of those who gave him chocolate in consideration for me, so everyone now puts their chocolates in paper bags and leaves it on top of his desk when they get to school. Because of that, it’s been a hassle bringing them home every year. By the way, I take the ready-made ones from Bern, despite them looking delicious and feeling bad for the sender. That’s cause he throws them all away! It’s wasteful. So wasteful! They’re high-class chocolates from nice stores! Now then, I would like to mention last year’s Valentine’s story so you get an introduction and understand the yearly situation with the chocolates.

Last year, because Bern had gotten addicted to citrus fruits, I chose my present from lemon-flavored chocolates, and even one that was chocolate-covered orange peels (forgot the name). I thought that just a luxurious-looking one, like sprinkled with golden leaves, would have been okay.

But, and that’s a but.

After I gave him my chocolate, he came back from the kitchen, carrying a plate.

Oh yeah, I gave him the chocolate at his house.

“I got dragged into helping Uncle with his reverse chocolate*, and since I went through so much trouble, I made some as well.”

“Reverse… chocolate…?”

Eh, wait, reverse chocolate? And he even made them…?

“I figured it tastes fine after trying it out.”

If he gave me a muffin or a gateaux chocolate, the injury would have been a shallow one.

However, what he brought out was fondant chocolate.

What the hell, why is chocolate oozing out from the inside… Isn’t this amazing!?

Furthermore, it’s extremely high-quality.

Are high-spec guys good at whatever they do?

My ordinary genes felt defeated.

“This reverse chocolate, is Lucas going to give it to Emilia-san?”

“Yeah. He’s never received chocolates from her, so he eagerly thought of giving her some instead this year.”

“Wow…”

Damn Lucas–! Stop doing things you don’t need to–!

“Oh yeah, I still wonder what relationship Lucas and Emilia-san have even to this day. It’s true that since Emilia-san is adopted, they’re an older sister and a younger brother that aren’t blood-related.”

“Yeah. Mom was worried about where we’d stay after the divorce, so he suggested that we come live with him. And we’ve been living together since then.”

“Isn’t she going to remarry?”

I vaguely asked, since the topic of who it would be to was a delicate subject, and Bern shrugged his shoulders and said, “Who knows?”

“Even I don’t know what kind of relationship they have. Whatever it is, we’re family, and they’re probably satisfied with just that.”

“I see.”

Because of that, we ended the conversation at a good place, but the point is that it’s something that might sully her honor as a woman.

There’s room for argument in regards to whether or not making chocolates affects your honor as a woman, but because I still slightly remember the shame that came with my “Oh no! Crap!,” I came to this place to do just that.

And that’s why I’m having Darius-kun teach me the ways of making impressive, filling sweets that even a beginner could easily make.

My partner-in-crime, Darius, is a skilled man that can even make sweets in a hurry.

He looks like a yankee, but he’s the type of yankee that would find a cat in the rain and bring it home. And because of that, he has four cats at his place.

When I told my classmates — Katerina, Clarissa, and even Lila — that, they easily understood from just looking at him.

It’s been around half a year since Lila came to our high school, and although a lot has happened, we’re now close friends.

After much effort, we managed to get our hands on impressive, filling sweets that even us four beginners were able to easily make. Yay!

Darius was dead by the end of it all because of someone microwaving an egg, which was Katerina’s doing. We lost a precious friend today. I’ll definitely give you an obligatory chocolate…

We prepared ourselves for the decisive battle — Katerina with Ionius, Lila with her brother, and Clarissa with her cream pie that she’ll be throwing at her ex-boyfriend, Alois.

Then February 14 arrived.

I prepared my counter-attack.

The truffle chocolate that Darius forcibly helped me perfect.

With only my highly perfected wrapping so that I don’t uselessly psych myself up every year.

I’m forced to launch a surprise attack on Bern, who was relieved that he’ll be getting some this year as well, in the form of handmade chocolate — preparation is everything.

I was completely taken by surprise by his reverse chocolate last year, and I could only cry at how delicious it was and its calories, but this year, I’m going to win! And make his heart race!

And thus, as soon as school ended, I visited Bern’s house as promised.

Because the constantly present, semi-NEET painter old man aka Lucas is here, us youths are good to go. Maybe. Though he sometimes gets in the way.

“Then, from here on out is the Valentine’s chocolate awards ceremony.”

“Is that how this year’s procedure will go?”

“Yes, it is.”

I mean, that’s because I still don’t know till this day how to naturally give it, so I pretty much ended up doing a weird charade every year instead.

But I figured this is okay since even Bern surprisingly enjoys it.

As he bit his lip in self-control, I took out the chocolate that I made that Darius preciously sacrificed himself for.

“Oh wow, this year’s is handmade!”

“Wow!”

It’s an ordinary truffle chocolate. It should feel handmade with the small gold and silver balls on top.

I presented the small box, decorated with a navy blue wrapping paper and a gold ribbon.

Bern was unusually surprised and accepted the box as if he was accepting his diploma. Even before we started dating, he’s always been good at playing along.

“Can I open it?”

“Of course.”

He carefully unwrapped it, and when he saw the inside, he let out a small “Hehehe.”

“Wow, it looks really handmade.”

“That’s cause it is handmade.”

Half of it was made by Darius, but I didn’t mention his name.

If I did, Darius would die, joking aside. Of course, that’d be a pity.

With his big body, Bern took the small box with both hands, as if it was treasure, and stared at it from different angles.

I’d like it if you could stop staring at it so much and eat it quickly since that’s kind of embarrassing.

And with that taste, have your heart race with my love.

“I’d be happy even if you gave me a bar of chocolate or a Tirol-Choco*, but… you made this for me, right?”

“Yep.”

“Thanks. Even I was surprised, but I’m happy.”

Bern suddenly lowered his droopy eyes and smiled. ‘If it was going to be like this, I should have done handmade ones sooner,’ I thought with slight regret.

I wonder if I should practice so next year’s will be completely handmade by me.

“I also have something.”

Here it comes!

I mean, mine was also handmade this year! I won’t be embarrassed no matter what you take out!

While sporting a fighting pose in my mind, I prepared myself for Bern’s high-quality chocolate attack.

But he didn’t go to the kitchen, and instead took out something big that rustled from behind the sofa.

Eh, what? It’s not food?

“If you’re fine with this, I’d like you to accept it.”

A b-bouquet–!

E-even though he’s just a high school student, a mini rose bouquet!?

And it’s even heart-shaped, specifically made for Valentine’s.

When I imagined Bern buying this bouquet from a florist, my chest tightened. Like how it must have been difficult for him to enter the flower shop or having a hard time deciding, like this, my chest–

“Ahh–! I lost!”

“Just when did this become a match…”

“Even though I decided to make your heart race this year no matter what–!”

“What do you mean ‘make your heart race’? You’re making mine race plenty though.”

“Jeez! How are you able to say that so smoothly!?”

Isn’t he making my heart race again?

This is bad, I’m never gonna win if this keeps up.

I mean, seriously, what was I fighting with? Am I stupid?

When I blushed the same color as the bouquet I accepted and groaned, I was suddenly called out to with a “Hey.”

Bern’s eyes sparkled, like a kid thinking of mischief.

“The loser has to listen to what the winner says.”

“This is the first I’ve heard of this rule.”

“Don’t you know, history is written by winners.”

That does sound like a saying, but isn’t that just bullying*?

“…Just hear me out on what I want you to do, just listen to it.”

While having me with the bouquet in front of him, Bern said that without worrying about his begging being rejected. After hesitating just a little bit with a faint blush, he raised his head, determined.

“I’d like you to feed me chocolate…”

“By that, you mean you want me to go, ‘Ahh’?”

As if saying the word ‘Ahh’ was embarrassing, Bern blushed like a maiden, and nodded.

‘Looking even more like a maiden than even me, what the, you’re extremely cute,’ I frustratingly thought. Oops, that was a close call.

“Okay.”

“Really?”

“A woman doesn’t go back on her word.”

Besides, when we eat, we’ve both fed each other multiple times.

I mean, it’s just replacing spoons with fingers.

My boyfriend’s begging is cute.

I’ll do it as much as you want.

Bursting with mysterious fighting spirit and chivalry, I rolled up my sleeves, and picked up one of the somewhat round chocolate.

“Here, ahh.”

Because I was shorter than him, Bern had to naturally lean over, and put his obstructive bangs behind his ear.

His thin lips came in contact with the chocolate that I held between my forefinger and thumb.

I accidentally caught a glimpse of his white teeth and tongue as the chocolate disappeared into his mouth.

I wonder, I feel like I just saw something I shouldn’t have…

“This feels kind of erotic.”

Buu–!”

‘Did he choke on the dusted cocoa?’ I thought as Bern covered his mouth and had a coughing fit.

“Ah, sorry.”

“Why’d you say that?”

While panting hard, Bern glared at me with a red face, looking like a boiled octopus.

Well, I mean, that’s what you’d think…

Everyone would think that, right!? Plus we’re the only ones here!

“Was it good?”

“I choked on it, so I don’t really know.”

I looked at the still slightly coughing Bern and smirked, feeling a little mean.

“Should I do it again?”

After that, because I suffered through an exceedingly embarrassing moment of him feeding me, I unfortunately had no choice but to say that this year’s Valentine’s was an utter defeat.


*reverse chocolate – chocolate that a boy gives to a girl for Valentine’s

*Tirol-Choco

*Bullying – Actual word she used was Gianism, which is a Japanese-made English word that came from the bully from Doraemon (cause he was a bully and was hella big)

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