Part 06 – Larousa Looked Back
She was kind and cheerful, a mother that I can be proud of.
She raised me by herself without turning to a nanny, and even while supporting my busy father, she made time to listen to me talk thoroughly. In a territory full of nature where I spent most of the year, she taught me the basics of martial arts and magic. On a calm sunny days, she made my lunch box herself and took my hand to go on a picnic.
My brother or sister lived in Mother’s stomach when I was 7 years old. With Father, the three of us waited for his or her birth. There was no doubt that I would be happier.
Finally, noticing that Mother was going into labor, Father ran with sounding footsteps which was unlike him. I, meanwhile, prayed with my hands held together.
“Larousa, hurry, go to your mother!”
When I arrived at Mother’s bedroom, she had lost her color. My pale-faced mother was exhaling in a heavy breath.
“… Larousa… I love you … more than anyone… please remember… my cute… Larousa……”
Mother let out a short breath and she was called to heaven. As Father sobbed and I stood in a daze, I noticed that in the corner of the room, Martha, the the head maid, was holding a small little baby. I approached slowly and quietly.
“Young master Larousa. This is your little sister.”
The teary eyed Martha bent forward so I could see the baby better.
The baby was small, fragile, and black-haired like me. While Martha was soothing her, the baby’s eyelids opened. She had the same eyes as Mother, sparkling eyes that shined like stars in the dark.
Would my little sister live without knowing her mother? The gentle and warm mother. I was loved by Mother. Not only did I actually feel her for real, Mother even said words as though she was doubly making sure to leave them for me. But, this sister would never know her mother’s love.
I kept crying, clinging to Father’s side.
My little sister, Serafiona, was raised by Martha. For a while, she was given milk by a woman from our territory, but switched to porridge after just a few months. My sister never complained and slept peacefully.
Father was worried about me. Whenever he was home, he stayed by my side and ate together with me just like Mother did. He would even read me a book before I went to sleep.
“Father, please read the book to Serafiona today, not to me.”
“Larousa, you don’t have to do your best just because you are the big brother. Also, Serafiona is a baby, she wouldn’t understand any of it.”
‘Larousa is kind,’ Father stroked my head gently. No, it wasn’t like that. I just felt guilty. Ever since the day I was born, someone always, everyday, read a book to me.
My sister was raised by Martha and Enrique, and she grew into a pretty little lady with black eyes. Without giving her a care, I timidly spent my time quietly in my room. I couldn’t reach out and play with her even if I thought that my little sister with an appearance similar to mine was cute. I had already received many things. My sister who I couldn’t hold until now and never would. Whenever I saw my sister, I would almost be crushed by a sense of guilt.
At that time, because Father was humbly wise, his work increased, and he couldn’t return home easily. Finally, he had to undertake the job as the Minister of Finance, being forced to leave his territory and stay indefinitely in the capital. He came home after a long time and explained to us that we had to move. Then, “Father, let me stay here. I will just be a hindrance.”
Both Father and I widened our eyes. I did not know that my two-year-old sister could talk like that. And what she said… a hindrance…?
“What do you mean by that……?”
Father hurriedly embraced Serafiona who was sitting in a small chair and tightly held her up.
“My Serafi, there is no way you are a hindrance, okay? Don’t say something like that!”
My sister leaned her head with sincere eyes just like Mother.
“But… I will not be helpful with anything. I will listen properly to what Martha tells me and be good. I will not do anything bad.”
My sister was… too smart, and made a sad decision which was unlike a two year-old.
“Serafiona. Oh! Even though you are the daughter she gave birth to at the risk of her life! No, that’s not it! Serafi-If you’re not here, Father will be useless. Please come with Father! Please!”
My sister was strongly hugged by Father for the first time, and her expression was puzzled. I made my cute sister look like that…
Once we moved to the capital, Father had more time and started to take walks with my sister while holding her hand. I was relieved. Father invited me too, but I refused, saying that I had homework. I wanted my sister to feel Father’s affection … and I had no idea to what kind of attitude I should take during them.
I would like to give her love so that she would never say misguided things like she was a hindrance. Alone in happiness, I who had left my little sister in loneliness, with what kind of face should I talk to her. To act like a brother now after such a long time… As I thought about it, my face became stern, and to such a me, Serafiona would quietly retreat to her room.
“Mother… what should I do…?”
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