Because I Can Control Darkness Doesn’t Mean I’m a Bad Person! – Prologue

My name is Sakura. I was born in Spring so I got the name of a flower that blooms during this season of time.
A name is the first love parents give to their children. That’s how it is said in the society so maybe when my parents gave me this name, they were trying to pour their affection into me. But I, myself, have never felt that.

As far as I remember, both my parents hated each other to the point that it was a mystery why they married.
And apparently, the cause for that seemed to be in me.

Both my parents loved to work and didn’t have any intentions of having a baby. However, my mother became pregnant with me.

I mean, even if you don’t have the intention, if you do the deed, it’ll happen sooner or later, you know.

My mother seemed to loathe me because she missed her chance of promotion due to unexpected childbirth. And because my father was a person who didn’t get involved with housework or parenting, he often had conflicts with my mother.

『At least look after the kid once in a while』

My mother, who had been single-handedly taking care of housework and childcare was constantly appealing to my father, But he refuted each time.

『Childcare is the mother’s job, isn’t it? Since you’re the one who gave birth to her, so raise her properly』
『I didn’t give birth to her because I wanted to!』

This was the usual quarrel.

Even after I became a middle schooler, similar arguments kept happening.
It’s not like I wanted to be born like this either.
Even though I was thinking thing like this, I couldn’t just say it out loud so I could only keep my ears closed and lock my heart. In the meantime, parents’ quarrel would be over without me noticing.
But that day was different.
As I was ignoring my parents who were yelling at each other, I heard my mothers scream.
When I raised my face in thoughts of what happened, the one standing before me was my father with bloodshot eyes who was clenching the kitchen knife.
Oh shit!
The next moment when I instinctively tried to run away ―― I felt burning heat in the abdomen.
Strength leaving my whole body and I fell down on the cold floor.
My abdomen hurt as if there was a hot iron pressed on it and there was blood pouring out of it. I was rapidly losing the heat from my body as if my life was slowly seeping out.
At the edge of blurred vision, the back of my father running away with a kitchen knife was reflected. With that scene being the final thing I saw, my consciousness slowly sank in the darkness.
It was an incident that happened during the spring when I was 15 years old.

When I noticed, I was in a soft comfortable place and wrapped in something warm. It seems to be someone’s arms.
I, who have no memories of being hugged by other people, become lost of what to do. Then, I heard a voice.

“My beloved child.”

It was a gentle voice of a man. The owner of that voice softly held me in his arms and lovingly stroke my head.
This is the first time I’ve received such warm affection from other people so I become puzzled.
Possibly guessing my thoughts, the man suddenly laughed with a puff.

“Even your confused appearance is adorable.”

….What is this guy saying to a person he’s meeting for the first time.

“Beloved child, please give me a name.”

The name? isn’t that something parents give you?

“I do not have a name. That’s why I want you to give one to me.”

Even I, who wasn’t loved by my parents, had a name “Sakura”. But it seems like, this man didn’t even have a person to give him a name.
When I started thinking so, I somehow found this man very pitiful.
If you’re okay with me then I’ll give you a name.
Accepting with half-hearted feelings, I hazily kept looking at him.
Waist-length long black hair, black eyes, and dark skin. He was quite a handsome man, with the foreign-looking face.

Gerald.

Then he, who was holding me, smiled.

“I did not think you would think about it so seriously. Gerald, huh….It is a good name.”

I’m glad that he seems to like it.

“It is nice to be called by a name. I would like to call your name as fast as possible too.”

Gerald is saying strange things.
I have a name “Sakura”. If you want to call me, you can do it at any time.
As I was thinking so, he made a complicated expression.
I tried asking for the reason but I was suddenly assaulted by drowsiness and once again lost my consciousness.


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