Starting Over – Chapter 02

When I realized that my life had been rewinded a decade, I had one immediate thought:
“Talk about unnecessary . ”
Let’s suppose we have a guy who doesn’t have a single regret about his life .
Now the guy could be plenty happy, or else he could be a moron .
He could’ve lived a life so perfect that there was nothing to reflect upon, or he could just lack the brains to reflect on anything .
Granted, I’m speaking for myself, but I was the former . I was a happy guy .
I was pretty pleased with what I was calling life . It’s the truth, I didn’t have any problems at all .
Had the best girlfriend I could ask for, great friends, a perfect family, and went to a decent university . Nothing lacking, in my mind .
I mean, I guess there was the fact I was having so much fun as to only get six hours of sleep a day, resulting in the occasional headache .
Since I knew I could always wake up to good things, I always wanted to stay up a little longer . Sleep was just missing out on life, as I saw it .
And so for me, who was pretty pleased with how his life was going, the chance to relive my life just seemed like more of a bother than anything . A big waste, I thought – felt like it should have gone to someone a little more despairing about their life .
Suppose there’d be lots of people who wouldn’t mind living the years from ten to twenty over again .
Opportunity always seems to fall upon those who don’t seek it . God’s just a big old prankster .
Turn on the TV, and you’ll know right away from the people you see that “God doesn’t give with both hands” is one big lie .
Maybe I’m just asking for punishment here, but God doesn’t have the first notion of “equality . ”
Anyway, seeing one of God’s cruel pranks with my own eyes just got me thinking about all that stuff .
Point is, I was satisfied with my first life, and I had no interest in doing it a second time…
So I thought, hey, maybe I should just do everything the same the second time around .
That was the idea .
I guess in a way I was a bit of a prankster myself, taking God’s prank and sorta making it backfire .
Fix those mistakes and missed chances in my first life? Nah, I would have it all play out the same .
I’d set out to make the ten-year rewind meaningless .
I knew in my mind all the accidents and calamities, the crises and changes to come, but I’d keep my mouth shut .
After all, soon as I started talking about that stuff, I wouldn’t know when to stop .
Besides, there were already plenty of crazies out there claiming they’re from the future and know what’s gonna happen, so there was no way anybody’d find me any more credible .
I’d live out the rest of my life in a hospital if I went off in that direction .
Sure, I suppose choosing not to save people who could be saved wasn’t something you should rightly do .
But to be honest, there wasn’t anybody out there I cared about enough to consider sacrificing my own happiness .
Yeah, some people are willing to do that kind of self-sacrifice . But they just do it because the satisfaction they get from the act exceeds what they lose, that’s all . So no different from putting priority on your own happiness .
The important part is what brings in the most happiness for you . And for me, happiness was “nothing ever changing . ”
So I’d thoroughly re-enact my first life . That’s all I sought out of the
second round .
I bet upstream time-swimmers who don’t even want it are real rare . Feels like I should be congratulated .

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