Never once she actually cursed her own foolishness until this very moment.
Staring at her ankles chained to the prison wall, Violette keeps cursing herself for countless times. Of course, those were directed toward herself.
Hints were there, but everything was too late by the moment she had realized the truth that she had been turning blind eyes all this time.
Her father who kept betraying her mother, the woman whom her father kept seeing to, and her her sister who was born from a different mother. Even the person whose heart taken by that half-sister of hers.
Since those were hurting her, then she would just crush those happiness.
It’s that woman(concubine)’s fault. It’s also that very woman’s daughter’s fault for being born that she was not loved. That she was not even loved by my own mother and father, also others, everything was that step-sister’s fault.
Convinced herself such, she detested and held grudges, to the point that she selfishly went crazy solely for the sake of that revenge.
She hurt a lot of people, without understanding how foolish she was.
She destroyed many things with her own hand, with the revenge intention in mind.
It was stupid, very stupid. Those were the worst and the most unforgivable things she had ever done. Each time she remembers, it feels like her heart is being stabbed.
Rubbing her head against the ground, Violette cannot even complain for getting arrested for extorting violence and power. It is actually rather a light punishment in response to all her previous actions she did.
The fact that she is kept alive was out of kindness despite being chained in prison is something to be thanked. If she had to undergo the appropriate punishment, she would be beheaded.
The last words she received from her step-sister was really kind that it kills.
Although Violette wished for a punishment, her kind step-sister did not punish Violette at all, even that meant taking her life.
Her kind heart surpasses all living beings, and she is as pure as a goddess, something that Violette can never have.
Such a girl will probably never forget Violette anymore. Because mistakes made toward her step-sister will be something that her family have to be burdened with.
Such things like taking other people’s happiness were such painful feelings. However, for the sake of her retrieving her happiness, she casted shadow on those feelings.
To that person whom Violette loves, she would probably have become a bothersome existence.
Although she worked hard for those happiness, right now she can only regret. As it is, it is already too late for her to repent.
There is no reason for a noble house, where a sinner was born, will let her stay in her rank. There are probabilities that her rank might go down or exiled to the countryside. Simply, she cannot live the way she lives up until now.
There is no way for such a noble daughter to be tied with him of royal blood.
How stupid of her. Her unreachable apologies would never be heard by anyone. Even it is, everything was already too late.
“S-sorry…… I’m sorry……”
Her voice is withering, and her throat is hurting. Her eyes are red, and she is having hard time breathing.
Even though all she wanted is to be loved, to be praised. Even though she was known as a beauty, right now she is ugly and dirty along with her tears and her runny nose. She is completely dirty since she has not taken any bath since she was imprisoned.
She has cried too much that she cannot shed anymore. She kept apologizing until her voice was sore, but her sins stay unforgiveable.
Everything that happened in the past would never return for the second time.
Violette also cannot ask for forgiveness forever.
“Ggh, S-sorry…… I’m s-sorry……”
The more she regrets, the more she starts remembering that day.
The moment when Violette started developing the fear of not being loved. That day right after her mother died, her father returned with that concubine as his new wife.
At the same time, it was the day, Violette met her step-sister for the first time.
She knew it herself that it’s useless to remember, but she could not help it.
If she could return to that day. If she could return to the time before everything has started. She would not commit those mistakes anymore. She would not exposing herself, pretending, and hurting anyone.
A life where she would not become a bother to anyone.
“…… What happened to you? You stopped talking all of a sudden.”
Sitting next to her father stand a woman and a girl. The impressions of those beautiful smiles, which are better than crying faces, were something engraved deeply inside her memory.
She wonder if she is dreaming. Or perhaps is this the punishment for selfishly wishing to return back out of regret?
This is the sight of that day.
The sorrow from losing my precious mother disappeared in the instance my beloved father introduced them to me who was still at lost.
My new mother is a woman with a gentle smile, and beside her stands a young girl who is laughing innocently, and she will be the one who will turn Violette’s world upside down.
I remembered it again and again back in the prison, the beginning of my regret.
“My name is Elfa. Nice to meet you.”
“I am Maryjun. Nice to meet you…… Onee-sama.”
Putting her teacup, Violette cannot stand the discomfort and the anger from the voice of her step-sister smiling happily.
Even now, her hand is still trembling, shaking the teacup…… but she manages to bear with it. She knows she should hold back from letting it show on her face.”
“…… I am Violette Rem Vahan. Pleased to meet you, Elfa-sama, Maryjun-sama.”
She hung her head low to cover her face. Her father seemed to be breathtakingly surprised from beside her.
Whenever she met someone for the first time, she would not bother to greet and smile, let alone lowering her head. It would have been unbelievable coming from Violette according to her father’s memory.
“Pardon me, but is it okay to rest?”
“Then, I shall excuse myself.”
Leaving the room with a bow to my father who still does not understand of what is happening, she lifts her dress and returns to her room quickly.
It is not a matter of having something to do in her room, but that can be said to her father, but Violette is probably very upset.
As soon she enters her room, she reaches out for the secret inside the second drawer of her desk.
She pulls out a thick book and started flipping toward the bookmarked page. It was a blank sheet, but when she flips back to one page behind, it is dated yesterday with familiar writings. It is a diary that Violette has been writing since she was a child. It is her secret treasure that cannot be seen to anyone.
The date written was about yesterday, all past events long before she entered the prison are all written there.
Did the time rewind? She could not believe such a thing. Even mages cannot do that or it never happened.
However, this is a reality where Violette is not chained down in the prison.
“Is this a dream……?”
The sensations of her finger touching, the light reflected to her eyes, the clear sound of wind reaching her ears. She cannot believe that this is a dream.
On that day she regretted, she was sent back to the place she wanted to.
Before everything started killing her, before she went insane.
“……I won’t be a bother anymore.”
She doesn’t want to be pushed down to wasteful iniquities and responsibilities, so no one would get hurt.
She does not want to return to that dark prison where she could only mutter those unreachable apologies.
This time, so I won’t be a bother to anyone.